He was the man who, back in the 1930s, invented “personal development”—that is, techniques for feeling better about life, advancing one’s career, earning more money and recognition, and so on.
Personal development, frowned upon in France
In Europe, and particularly in France, personal development is frowned upon. It is often associated with gurus and cults.
It’s not considered proper to flaunt one’s success. Moreover, it’s dangerous because the wealthy are viewed with suspicion. Rather than emulating them, people prefer to tax them, and of course there are countless good reasons to do so: for the poor, for the environment, for the sick, for healthcare workers, for education, for social justice, for culture…
In short, few French people have read Dale Carnegie, which is why I’m taking this opportunity to tell you about his two main “secrets” that made him so successful across the Atlantic.
Everyone has their vulnerabilities
Dale Carnegie was the first to dare to speak to the general public about the vulnerabilities that lie within everyone's heart:
“If you have fears,” he writes, “stop and think about the fact that others have them too. It’s likely that you have a worry, an anxiety, or perhaps even a terror haunting you right now: the fear of what people will think of you; of what they’ll say about you; of what your boss will do; of what the neighbors will think.”.
Note that these fears always concern the future.
”You're never afraid of the past, because you know what happened—and usually it wasn't that bad after all."
• Yes, you lived for years in fear of being fired, but when it actually happened, In the end, it wasn't as bad as I thought, and some opportunities came up.
• Yes, you were afraid of being abandoned by your fiancé or spouse, but when he finally left, you also found some benefits.
If you analyze your fears about the future, they will diminish.
Imagine, as clearly as possible, what would happen in the worst-case scenario you fear. Try to picture yourself, in your mind, in that world that terrifies you so much. You’ll probably realize that you can actually handle it. That you’re stronger than you thought.
Learn from others' experiences
But Dale Carnegie has an even deeper secret. It is to draw inspiration from the experiences of others—and, in particular, to benefit from the invaluable work done by all those who have written books and made films to share the challenges they have faced.
Often, these people have spent decades—sometimes their entire lives—to finally find the solution to a problem. Yet you can access it directly in two hours (if it’s a movie) or in a few days if it’s a book. We've never found a better way to save time.
• For example, if you're afraid of cancer, read “The Cancer Patients” Pavilion” by Alexander Solzhenitsyn (whom I’ll tell you more about in a few days). It shows, better than any book I’ve ever come across, how some people manage to turn the worst of illnesses into an opportunity in their lives.
• If you're afraid of getting old, watch the movie “A True Story”, by David Lynch, and “Love” by Michael Haneke. It is the story of Georges and Anne, both in their 80s, former music teachers who live in their Parisian apartment. Anne suffers a stroke. She is paralyzed on one side, and her health gradually deteriorates. Everything is communicated and experienced through the gestures, acts of kindness, tenderness, and love they show each other until the very end.
• If you're afraid of losing a child, watch the movie “And I choose to live” or read the book “Two small steps on the wet sand”by Anne-Dauphine Julliand.
• If you're afraid of having a child with a disability, or afraid of disability itself, take a look at “My Left Foot” (my left foot), the story of Christie Brown, who was born able to move only his left foot.
• If you're afraid of being shipwrecked and ending up on a deserted island, watch the movie “Alone in the World”, starring Tom Hanks.
• If you’re afraid of separation or ruin, well… there are so many options that it’s hard to make any recommendations. These themes are explored in practically every good movie or novel…
And with YouTube, you also have an ocean of human experiences at your disposal, with just one click. Because, after all, it’s a lucky break, It is extremely rare to encounter a problem that no one has ever faced before you, and that hasn't been presented and discussed in every possible way in books, movies, or on YouTube.
We’re lucky today to be able to save a tremendous amount of time this way, without having to spend years figuring things out on our own to find the solution.
Thank you in advance.
Cheers!
Jean-Marc Dupui
